jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?

A: Hairy Reasoner.


Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

Did you know their making a movie about the Grand Forks Flood?
It's called, 'A River Runs Over It.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite rock group?

A: Air Supply.

Perplexed White House staffers see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his sleeve.

As the day wears on, several VIPs go in and out of the Oval Office, each one leaving with a puzzled expression.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary, walks into the office and gently closes the door behind her. "Mr. President," she says. "We're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a woman's pair of panties on your arm."

"Oh no," the President grins, "it's the patch. I'm trying to quit."

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland."
George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".
The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"
The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!"
Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped."
The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"