Sunday, August 27, 2023

27 August Jokes

अब वो दिन दूर नहीं जब पति-पत्नी के बीच डिजिटल लड़ाई कुछ इस तरह होगी

बीवी- ना जाने कौन-सी घड़ी में मैंने तुम्हारी Friend request accept की थी ।
पति- पत्थर पड़ गये थे मेरी अक्ल पे जो तुम्हारी DP को Nice Pic कहा था ।
बीवी- मेरी अक्ल पे भी परदा पड़ा था जो तुम्हारी Pic पे Handsome Look का comment किया था ।
पति- अच्छा होता तुम्हें उसी वक्त unfriend कर देता...
बीवी- मैंने भी उसी वक्त तुम्हें Block किया होता तो आज ये दिन ना देखना पड़ता ।

 

टीचर- इतने दिन कहां थे, स्कूल क्यों नहीं आए?

गोलू- बर्ड फ्लू हो गया था मैम।

टीचर- पर ये तो पक्षियों को होता है इंसानों को नहीं।

गोलू- इंसान समझा ही कहां आपने...रोज तो मुर्गा बना देती हो..!!

 

बंता- तुम खाली पेट होने पर कितने केले खा सकते हो
संता (कुछ पल सोचकर कहा)- मैं 6 केले खा सकता हूँ।
बंता ने हँसते हुए जवाब दिया- गलत जवाब दोस्त,
पहला केला खा लेने के बाद तुम्हारा पेट खाली कहां रहेगा !?
इसलिए खाली पेट होने पर तुम केवल
एक ही केला खा सकते हो। 
संता घर पहुंचा और जाते ही बीवी से सवाल किया
तुम खाली पेट होने पर कितने केले खा सकती हो?
बीवी- मैं 4 केले खा सकती हूँ।
संता (निराश स्वर में बोला)- अगर 6 कहती तो
एक मस्त का Jokes सुनाता तुझे

 

Offline रहता हूं तो सिर्फ दाल, रोटी, नौकरी एवं
परिवार की ही चिंता रहती है
Online होते ही

धर्म, समाज, राजनीती, देश, विश्व
और पूरे ब्रह्माण्ड की चिंताए
होने लगती है
आम भारतीय नागरिक


Saturday, August 12, 2023

12 August Jokes

 

What’s it called when you steal somebody’s coffee? A mugging.

What’s the best thing about teamwork? Someone else to blame.

What does a gossiping coffee do? Spill the beans.

What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

12 August Quotes

 “Every child is an artist; the problem is staying an artist when you grow up” – Pablo Picasso

"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."– Babe Ruth

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." –Walt Disney

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."– Mother Teresa

Friday, August 11, 2023

11 August Jokes

 

What falls, but never needs a bandage? The rain.

What did the dirt say to the rain? If you keep this up, my name will be mud!

What kind of candy do astronauts like? Mars bars.

What month is the shortest of the year? May, it only has three letters.

Maid ki Leave Application | Vinay Sharma | Stand up Comedy (9th video)


From official channel of Vinay Sharma 

11 August Quotes

 “Do every job you’re in like you’re going to do it for the rest of your life, and demonstrate that ownership of it.” – Mary Barra

“Have those uncomfortable moments. Because my strong personal belief is it is those moments that cause you to grow the most yourself, but that also differentiate you the most in your career.” – Corie Barry

“My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn't have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don't be afraid to fail.” – Sarah Blakely

Thursday, August 10, 2023

10 August 2023 Quotes and Jokes


“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” —Michael Jordan

 "Say something positive, and you’ll see something positive.” —Jim Thompson

“All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.” —Earl Nightingale

"Train your mind to see the good in every situation." —Unknown


Jokes

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter.


Why should you never trust stairs?

They’re always up to something.


Why did the bullet end up losing his job?

He got fired.


What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderpants